Top 5 Gross Things Every Runner Should Learn

Running isnt pretty. You huff and puff until youre beetroot red and soaked through with stinky sweat and the occasional tear. Unfortunately, it seems to get worse. The more Ive run the further and longer Ive gone the more disgusting skills Ive had to develop.

 

It’s a case of going with the greater good. Whilst nothing on this list should ever be taken to dinner with the in-laws, these essential skills will stop you from looking even more of a mess than your average sweaty runner.

 

 

After a big race, no runner in their right mind would make time to go home and shower before going to the pub to face-plant a celebratory Sunday roast! Not wanting to clear the whole place with your post-race stench though, it’s only polite to try and at least mask some of the smell. The easiest compromise is a quick rub over with a baby wipe or five.

 

There’s a time and a place for spitting. It’s a bit no, no as you stroll through the town but mid-way through a marathon, when your throat is full of phlegm is totally forgivable. Aim is everything with the running spit. Make sure the coast is clear, it’s definitely less forgivable if you end up spitting at a fellow runner but fire far enough to avoid dribbling down your chin.

 

Sweaty, soggy tissues just don’t work. You end up with some pretty grotty confetti stuck to your face. Using your sleeve isn’t much better, that lumpy snot will stay with you for the rest of your run…and all the while you’re talking to the friends you’ve just bumped into. Best thing to do? Get shot of it straight away. Learn to rocket your snot.

 

A crucial skill for long runs and one most guys seem to have no problem with. However, for us ladies, it’s a bit trickier to have a wee in the middle of nowhere with only a gel wrapper to hide behind. The key is to be quick, no hanging around. And look behind you before you squat – sitting on a stinging nettle could be pretty painful!

 

When you’ve fallen in love with running, it’s hard to not want to do it all the time. So no blister is going to get in your way. Only that little liquidy dome is pressurised pain…and it’s getting in your way. Popping it – with a sterile needle – will release that pressure and let you run (almost) in comfort again.